Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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