you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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