we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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