Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
