SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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