South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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