New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
