According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize