oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
