If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My pussy is not your playground.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize