Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
