their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
false alarm. still invincible.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
