Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
no you cant smoke seaweed
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
