Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
