not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
