If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
