I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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