I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
