how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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