He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
