So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
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Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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