ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
