i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize