real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
