thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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