dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm having to shit out rocks
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