I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
