my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
home. puking in laundry basket.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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