that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
