I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
