entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
