You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
