Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
