The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
