Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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