drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I DEMAND FORESKIN
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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