am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize