As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
