I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Never underestimate the power of titties
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
