I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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