i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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