Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
