yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
