East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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