My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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