i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
