I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
