i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
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