Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
