Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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