So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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