i don't like sucking hair
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I want is dick and wine.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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