we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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