So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
