i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
how drunk are you?
Several
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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