I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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