Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
