Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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