One girl and one boy is just not enough.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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