Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
