Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
