Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
