mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
