I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
