didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
