Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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