I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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